Well today was exciting.. ok, not really. Just general nonsense and my constant bickering with the mindnumbing dullards that seem to OVERpopulate the internet. (THANKS AOL, you fucks)

So, I decided to start a weekly top and bottom 10 list:

Bottom 10 things I hate

10. People who can't spell. The occasional typo is one thing, but when your entire dialogue consists of half words, mutilated language, and/or bad grammar.. shut up.

9. Which brings me to: Ignorance being "cool". Why is it cooler to sound like a fucking "Half Baked" reject than to sound like you MIGHT have actually passed the 10th grade? Example "What's the capital of the US?" "Haha.. I dont no that shit u fukking geek.. hahah.. i gotz betetr siht 2 do then no that gay azzed shit" Yeah, really cool. I'm impressed. I'll hire you RIGHT NOW!

8. Dumbasses who believe that, because they're anti-government they're somehow "more enlightened" than everyone else. Don't call them on it, though.. they'll just shout vague conspiracy theories or call ya sheep! Oooh.. I'm hurt by your pseudo-intellectual, unsubstantiated drivel, seriously.

7. California Drivers - nuff said

6. People who stink. How hard is it to shower and wear some deodorant? Seriously... how the hell can people go out in public with a, near palatable, miasma of stench following them around? Do they honestly not know.. or are they just THAT disgusting?

5. Teenagers who think anyone over the age of 25 can't POSSIBLY know "what it's like to be a teenager these days". Right, cause... we skipped from 12 to 30! We can't possibly recall what it was like to hate school, hate our parents, not want to follow rules we disagreed with, want more freedom, feel new awakenings in the groin area.. etc etc. Come on kids, get a grip.. there are *SOME* differences, but the basics are the EXACT FUCKING SAME AS WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE. As for the differences, they're nothing so out there that a reasonably intelligent adult can't pick it up. Thanks ;)

4. Bad, angsty poetry. You know the kind I mean. The stuff that drips with words like maudlin, macabre, bleak, dark, dank, soulless.. etc etc. I won't say I never wrote it when I was younger, but that doesn't make it any less insipid or any less pathetic. Seriously, if you find yourself writing a despairing tale of woe set to rhyme.. put down your pen, turn on Court TV and watch Forensic Files. Just be grateful you're not the corpse and move on with your life.

3. People who harp on their differences but demand to be treated the exact same as everyone else. So you're gay, black, Mexican, Indian, Native American, etc etc etc. Have pride in your culture, that's the way it SHOULD be. HOWEVER, don't jump up on people's asses over every little tiny thing. Don't get all bent out of shape about the meaningless shit that doesn't matter. Choose your battles or that's all you'll ever be doing. You'll segregate YOURSELF and then wonder why you're being treated differently. Be proud of who you *ARE*.. but don't act like it makes you BETTER than anyone else.. which leads to:

2. Women who act like men owe them ANYTHING. Get off your gold digging ass and get a job. Quit expecting some guy to pay for everything. If you want equality, earn it and accept it on ALL levels. ie: You can't slap a man and expect him to NOT hit you back cause you're a female... selective service... You want abortion rights without the man having a say? No child support if he doesn't want the kid he never planned on and you do. Upfront, you know you won't be getting a damned dime... Bet the instances of "unplanned" pregnancies will drop.

1. Which leads to: People who glorify single parenthood like it's a fucking great idea.. way to give your kids a higher instance of poverty! Good job on making life more difficult for your child than it needs to be. If it wasn't a choice, gods bless you for doing your damndest. If you were a single dumbass who happened to get knocked up because you "forgot". You're not some wonderful fucking person because you decided to keep the baby. You're just an idiot who forgot birth control and you have to make the best of YOUR OWN FUCKUP. You're not a superhero. Sorry.

Top 10:

10. MP3 players - Tunes that don't skip when I PT? YAY!

9. A good partner. That person who just meshes with you and knows just what to say/do at just the right time. That's pretty sweet.

8. Teddy Bears. I've had mine 23 years.. he's never judged me, never cussed at me, and never bitched when I cried and got his fur wet. You can't beat that.

7. Starbuck's Frappicino - Fuck me for falling for their overpriced, yuppie crap.. but damnit, I just love those things :(

6. Lists - I love them, they're great. They make life so much more organized.

5. Erotic fiction, sometimes it gives some pretty neat ideas.. otherwise it's just fun reading ;)

4. Instant messenger programs - Without em, I'd either have an outrageous phone bill.. or I would have lost touch with some really incredible people I actually do care about. Time sucks like that.

3. Good friends who like you, even when you're acting fucked up. You KNOW when you're being an asshole.. that person who still talks to you later, never saying shit behind your back? Keep em, people like that are *RARE*.

2. Cell phones - Gotta love all those weekend minutes. I keep in touch with mom, sis, brother, other assorted family & friends.. without paying hundreds of dollars in long distance.

1. Winning free shit, I've had good luck with that, in some ways. Never won a BIG jackpot.. but won a slew of CDs (my choice), a 4 day cruise for two, and assorted other goodies over the years. Free shit always = the win!


Here's the weekly top and bottom 10. You wanna email me with suggestions for next week, feel free.. I may even put it up there. If it's really good, you even get credit!