“I don't need feminism…”

I agree we shouldn't need feminism. Equality should be a natural state and applied evenly across all genders, whatever they may be. Feminism shouldn't even exist as a term. To some, it has implications of misandry or advocates glorifying the feminine to the exclusion of all else.

Some believe that "humanism" should be enough, because we are all human. Obviously we should see each other as equals, without the dividing lines of gender. Unfortunately, though, the disparity in the treatment of the genders is overwhelmingly skewed that "humanism" isn't truly possible - primarily because too many forget to act like women are autonomous human beings.

There's some complacency when it comes to the ideology of feminism and many misconceptions. There is the belief that all feminists hate men, that we seek to take over, or that the fight is over - since women are present in the workplace, allowed to hold opinions, and are allowed to vote.
I won't even get into the recent debates about abortion, birth control, body autonomy, or the ruling from SCOTUS. This isn't about politics, really it's not. It's about basic human rights.
So, if I'm not talking about politics; why do I need feminism?

I need feminism because I would like to be able to hold a strong opinion about something, without someone assuming I am on my period, being emotional, or being dismissed -out of hand- because obviously I am not as well read as my male counterpart who has a different point of view.

I need feminism because; in the fields of science and mathematics women are woefully underrepresented. Those who do exist are not given the same respect as their male counterparts. Gender bias is very real and it's harmful, not just to women, but to the very communities that dismiss them. The next break through could be sitting on a desk waiting for funding, but because the initial study request has a female name on it, is ignored.
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/unofficial-prognosis/2012/09/23/study-shows-gender-bias-in-science-is-real-heres-why-it-matters/

I know a brilliant woman who has a mind for math. I've seen her complain about someone condescendingly explaining her own work back to her, as if she was an idiot. Obviously, the little lady needed a smart man to tell her how real math worked (even though all the work was already done... by her...).
Don't say women aren't as interested in science or math. It's more so indoctrination and being told repeatedly that "Girls don't like science/aren't good at math. How about you take home ec sweetie?". It's discouraging to the point that people just stop trying after a while. Just listen to Neil DeGrasse Tyson's take on the exclusivity of the scientific community. While he's talking about race, he addresses gender in his comments too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7ihNLEDiuM

I need feminism because it's perfectly ok for strangers to comment on what women eat. Even my slender friends have been told, "You sure you want to eat that?" when holding a plate of fries or an ice cream. Do you ask men if they really want to eat those chips or do you just sell them the fucking chips?

I need feminism because it seems to be expected for people to tell women the proper way to dress. As if choosing their own attire is something beyond their own comprehension. If they're dressed in a way anyone deems "inappropriate", the women themselves are to blame for ridicule, mockery, harassment, or even rape.

I'm not just talking about provocative clothing. Female celebrities are raked over the coals for not putting on makeup, as if they committed a sin by daring to appear bare faced and imperfect. Women are treated as lesser for choosing to be comfortable, rather than "pretty" for a day. And yes, women have been slut shamed or told they were "asking for it" because they wore a short skirt.

I need feminism because I would like to not only not fear assault, but I don't want it second guessed that I had a role in my own assault. I got raped wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. I got raped repeatedly by my ex-husband. Guess which rapist is in jail. If you said neither you're right. In both cases, the prosecutor and the cops gave the rapist an out. I was "out too late" so it was my fault. And "Well with marital sex it is just he said... she said". Fuck you too, guess the bruises around my neck were just from foreplay.

I need feminism because I'm supposed to teach my daughters how to not get raped. It is supposedly their responsibility to avoid rape, because men are incapable of controlling themselves. This is detrimental to both genders. Men are portrayed as savage animals, barely held in check by virtue of a turtleneck, sobriety, and broad daylight.

Since men are not animals, how about we teach our sons not to fucking rape, that rape isn't ok, & it isn't funny? How about communities not rally around rapists and news outlets stop pitying the poor rapists and how the girl (who dared to get raped) ruined their lives by going to the cops... or because someone else went to the cops, on her behalf, because they saw pictures pasted all over the internet while she was naked and unconscious.

I need feminism because, as a veteran I do remember all the sexual harassment training we were mandated to attend. I also remember how little it mattered and how pointless it was, because if you actually were harassed you knew better than to speak up. If you didn’t let your superior grope you, if he were “that” kind of asshole – good luck getting a good evaluation. Unless you wanted to end your own career and face reprisal (which totally happened, even though that was technically illegal too), you kept your mouth shut.

It’s a boy’s club and you’d better learn your place, little lady. Even now, people hear about a woman superior coming to a command and they openly complain and talk about how women aren’t as good. Misogyny isn’t just expected, it’s actively encouraged under the guise of “jokes” or “well we’re just talking”.

I need feminism because I shouldn't have to meet some arbitrary appearance guideline just to avoid being treated like shit. That should be a basic human right. I get it; some men are given a hard time for their clothing. but the level of vitriol and seething hatred displayed when a woman doesn't measure up is beyond the pale.

As an overweight woman, I've been told... to my face... I shouldn't be allowed outside because I am so disgusting. I've been told no man will love me and it's my own fault, because I am too fat. Supposedly, I don't deserve to be treated with respect, because I don't fit into what I "should" look like. Or my personal favourite... "concern trolling" where someone really only cares about my health, so they hope I lose the weight. (FTR: I'm overweight because of hormonal issues and losing is fucking hard. My blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, heart, etc are all excellent. Fuck you very much)

I need feminism because I should be able to write posts like this or read blogs by other feminists where the comments section isn't filled with vile, hateful filth meant to utterly destroy any woman who dares say "hey... I don't feel valued in our society". I've been on forums posting about video games and been threatened with rape.

I need feminism because our "representative" democracy sure seems to have a large percentage of white males in charge of everything. This includes forums discussing women's health with an ALL MALE congressional committee. How is that even logical?

I need feminism because I am a human being and deserve to be treated as one. I deserve to have the same rights as anyone else. I firmly believe we SHOULD be treated equally and I do take umbrage with ALL inequities in the system. Yes, even the inequalities affecting men (such as sentencing in courts.).

But... it is deliberately obtuse to state that there isn't a gender gap; that power is not primarily in the hands of men and that women are not, if not explicitly, implicitly told to know their place.
The fact that there are women holding up signs, that simultaneously shame other women, while declaring that they don't need feminism is proof of the need for feminism. If we can't even stand up for ourselves, who will?

And for the record... I love men

Broken

At the risk of sounding dramatic or whiny, I am posting about my own existential crisis - one which literally has had me feeling crushed down and very small, insignificant, and weak. I'm generally idealistic (believe it or not), but even I struggled against something that I have been noticing; a pattern that I see far too often. And it breaks my heart. I spent a good portion of this evening literally weeping because of this.

The world is so awesome, amazing, and special and we have this unique ability of ALL creatures, that dwell on this planet, to be able to make it better. We have the capability to create wonderful things, to learn, grow, and gain wisdom about ourselves and the universe in which we occupy. We've made advances in medicine to help us live longer and heal the sick. We have seen, heard, and experienced the light of hope around us!

And yet, far too regularly with little regard for ourselves as a species, what do we do? We abuse and debase each other for voting the wrong way, being too fat, too thin, being female, being male, being liberal, being conservative, being "crunchy" parents, being "silky" parents, being too curious and not curious enough. Too many Atheists denigrate ALL religious adherents as being fools for ignoring science, or just for having faith... at all. Far too many religious adherents denigrate atheists as immoral and debase, unworthy of compassion or grace. Why?

I don't expect (nor really want) us to all agree. It won't happen. But why this delirious joy in hate? Why are we choosing to walk away from what makes us wonderful and instead focusing our energies on finding every flaw in the opposition and using it as a weapon to brutalise each other? Why can we not disagree without the vitriolic hate? When do hateful words open minds? Why can people not see that sometimes, the other side DOES have a point - in some way?

Why the hell is it so important to be *RIGHT* all the damned time? Why is being right more important than being human?

I weep for us. I weep because, every day, I see the hate over and over. We pick apart the other side and use it as a way to laud ourselves and pat ourselves on the back because, obviously, we know better. We're smarter. We're not like THEM.

But.. there is no them. It's always US. WE share this world. I bring forth a cliché because it's fitting, we ARE all in this together. It's our single life and our only moment in this universe. Is this really how we want to spend it?

War on Christmas

It has come to my attention that some segments of the population truly believe that there is some kind of war being waged against Christmas. There are some who think we are trying to take Christ out of Christmas and that we, as a whole, are trying to diminish His role in the holiday season. They truly believe there is a grand conspiracy to destroy Christmas.

Not two months ago, many of these same people were posting messages and missives about how Christmas was being trotted out too early. That they were frustrated by Christmas displays alongside Back-to-School or Halloween decorations. Christmas is starting to come earlier and earlier, at least as far as decorating and sales are concerned. Give it time and we'll have Christmas extravaganzas in March.

So why the passionate missives, 'clever' memes regarding Jesus being the "reason for the season", angry letters and even fake news stories about lights being banned, cards being barred, and Christmas being cancelled? Where is all of this coming from?

It's simple really. For many years in this country, the only opinions and beliefs that were considered valid were those of the ruling class. And before anyone gets touchy, we do have those who govern us... whether we will it or not. If you doubt this, ask yourself how much you love the current president... or the former. The ruling class for many years was made up, almost entirely, of white, Christian males.

These white Christian males made policies. These white Christian males set the standards by which everyday life was lived. These white Christian males made life very difficult for those who were not white, Christian males. African-Americans were marginalised, as were women, and other religions? If you were acknowledged at all (such as those of the Jewish faith) you were largely treated with disrespect or derided for being different, if not outright slain. Your holy days were not considered when policies were made, or when "holidays" were allotted.

No one is saying that Christians should not celebrate, nor is anyone declaring that Christians cannot or should not say Merry Christmas. We are not making laws against making lovely displays that recognize and revere their faith. Heck, it is still actively encouraged! There are contests and prizes for the best displays, nationwide!

However, times have changed. No longer are we, as a country, happy with marginalising large segments of the population. There is not a war on Christmas. What IS happening is that we are recognising that our country does contain populations that are not white, Christian, and male. We are beginning to understand that not everyone believes as we do. And with that acknowledgment come changes in language and changes in practice.

There are some who are offended because we allow these traditions to exist. There are some who believe that non-Christians should disappear, be thrown out of the country, or just sit quietly and shut up - never mentioning our existence because, in their eyes, we don't count. They actually believe that, by merely acknowledging that other religions, beliefs, and practices exist - it somehow demeans their own beliefs. They think, that by admitting there are people who do not celebrate as they do, they are taking a shot at their own faith.

To this I say, rubbish. Your faith is a reflection of you and you alone. It is your testament to God. It is your personal relationship and NO ONE can take that from you. Ever. You keep Christ in Christmas; you keep Jesus in your heart and remember him this time of year. You celebrate as you see fit, go to Church, and if I see you on the street - I will wish you Merry Christmas with a bright smile on my face and sincerity in my heart.

This does not make any other person’s belief less valid. It does not mean that they should have to remain silent about their own traditions, their own faith, and their own values. Their belief is not an attack on you, Jesus, or Christmas. It is merely their belief. They are celebrating the season as they see fit and how it works in their home and family.

They don't demand you celebrate with them, but it is a reflection of changing times that these differences are recognised. That is all. It's not an attack to admit that there are people in our glorious nation that believe differently than you. It is not an act of war to include those different beliefs during this time of year.

I served our great nation for six years. I stood in defense of our beliefs, values, and our very way of life. I served alongside Christians, Pagans, Jews, Muslims, Shintos, and others. We all sought to defend our way of life. Do the rights we protected only apply to some people? Are those non-Christians who made the ultimate sacrifice, and died for this country, dying in vain? Or dying to defend rights and considerations that should not be afforded to them, but only to Christians?

I would certainly hope not. I would hope that we, as a country, recognize that our rights and the Constitution apply to everyone. We should all be allowed to practice, celebrate, and be who we are without it being viewed as an attack. Our existence is not a deliberate slight against God or Christmas. We don't want to take Christmas away from you, we promise. We just want to celebrate our own holiday and maybe, just maybe, have it be known that we matter too. Maybe we want to feel like we, too, are important and part of our own country.

The country was founded upon religious freedom. That freedom of religion means every religion, not just yours or ones with which you agree. We are all part of the whole and our differences are what make our country so unique and so wonderful.

I hope everyone has a peaceful holiday. I hope you all celebrate with joy in your hearts and feel the peace of the season. Happy Yule, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Solstice... and yes...

Merry Christmas. May we all be blessed.

Freedom of Religion - It means all religions

Several years ago, right after 9/11 in fact, I decided to enlist in the United States Navy.  I enlisted because I firmly believe in the freedoms that the people of our nation have.  I appreciate the freedom I have to vote, do any job that I wish, to be an educated woman, and most especially, freedom to worship as I see fit.  These are liberties that some religious radicals find so shocking and abhorrent, that they flew airplanes into a few of our most iconic buildings in protest.  I felt it was not enough to just acknowledge these rights.  I realized that I absolutely had to stand up and take an oath to defend them, as a member of our military.

          The Constitution of the United States says: “Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. “  These are words that mean so much, that I was willing to lay down my life, if need be, to protect this ideal.  So imagine my shock and dismay when I realized that, all too often, they didn't mean me or my religion.  You see, I am a Wiccan and the military is still, very much, a Judeo-Christian institution.

          I noticed this while I was going through in-processing at boot camp, as they got all the paperwork prepared for my official military record.

          “What's your religion?” asked the clerk who was filling out the paperwork for my dog tags.

          “Wicca”, I replied.

          The clerk sighed heavily, rolled his eyes, looked irritated and barked “We don't have that!  I'm marking down No Religious Preference.”

          Ouch.  No religious preference?  I had a very strong preference!  I'm not just a practitioner of my faith,  I'm also member of its clergy.  It was quite a blow to have my beliefs dismissed as if they didn't exist.  I couldn't believe it.  There I was, in basic training for the Navy.  I was on the road to end my life as a civilian and forever be a part of our armed forces.  I gave up my comfortable, sedate lifestyle in favor of strict rules, regulations, and codes of behaviour.  I did it willingly, because I felt so strongly about the rights afforded to us.  And in this very place, at that very moment, as I stood on the precipice between my old life as a civilian and my new life as a sailor, one of our most cherished rights was being ripped away from me.

          I endured basic training, even excelled in many ways.  However, I still felt disenchanted and disillusioned.  Other recruits were going to Church on Sunday, but my religion didn't count.  The closest they came to even acknowledging that it existed was a “meditation hour”, which we were allowed to share with Buddhists, Hindus, and various faiths that fell into the category of “other”.  All these people were equally part of the military, equally sacrificing, and equally willing to pay the ultimate price.  Yet, we were all relegated to the position of second class citizens.   The Judeo-Christian sects and beliefs had a massive, echoing chapel in which to worship.  We had a small, windowless room.  They had Chaplains to whom they could talk, or seek counsel.  They had benedictions at graduation.  We bowed our heads and whispered our own prayers, silently.

          After boot camp, I ended up stationed in California.  I decided to do a little research and I found out that my religion is mentioned in the Chaplain’s Handbook.  The handbook was the “be all, end all” of religious information and practices that are recognized by the US Armed Forces.  This meant that I was supposed to be afforded all rights that all other recognized faiths had.  While I now knew I had my rights, it wasn't easy to make sure that I was able to enjoy them as readily as those of the major faiths.

          I was inexperienced and suffered due to this.  I was not appraised of my rights, nor did I have support from my command so that I could find them out.  There was no Chaplain, with whom I could speak or ask questions.  There was no one who could, or would direct me to places where I could find answers.

          When I tendered a request form, so that I could observe one of my major religious holidays, my request was met with derision.  Worse, I was publicly mocked by several of my superiors.  My religion was now a matter of public record and, as such, open for debate, discussion, and dissection by everyone in my department.  I was subjected to jeering and constant attempts by people of other faiths, to convert me to their religion. 

          Members of other faiths were given time off to worship, but not I.  Not unless I asked and I knew better than to do that again.  I learned it was far better for me to keep my mouth shut and never mention my religion.  I worshiped when I could and worked almost every holy day on my calendar.  It was my first command.  I hoped it would get better at my next.

          My second command was Diego Garcia, a remote island thousands of miles from anywhere.  Since it was so small, obviously the lone chaplain couldn't tend to everyone's needs.  He was a kind man, but he was Roman Catholic and very uncomfortable discussing a Pagan faith.  So, again, my needs were not met.  I wasn't mocked, but I was left in a spiritual lurch, save for my own private prayers.

          There were services for other faiths, groups where they could get together, and even social events geared toward spiritual sharing and enlightenment.  I had no way to reach out to members of my own faith.  As far as I knew, I was the only Wiccan on the whole island.  I was growing frustrated. 

          Finally, I was sent to Okinawa, Japan and everything changed.  I met another Wiccan who told me that there was a group for us.  Finally, I would be able to practice like people of other religions.  I would have a community.

          Unfortunately, my job was such that I was always scheduled to work when the group met.  So, again, I was left out.  I expressed my frustration to my friend, who showed me what I always knew existed, but was never before shown to me: military regulations regarding religious worship.  I had rights!  According to the regulations, all service members' “Worship practices, holy days, and Sabbath or similar religious observance requests shall be accommodated, except when precluded by military necessity.”  This covered all recognized religions.

          He also introduced me to an organization called Sacred Well Congregation.  Sacred Well Congregation is a Wiccan church that specifically works to make sure that Wiccan and Pagan service members' right to worship is neither hindered or disregarded in any way.  They sponsor groups around the world and act as a liaison when a service member is getting trouble from their superiors, about their practice.

          I learned that, not only did I have the right to attend services but that, unless the mission could not support it, I had the right to observe my holy days.  I learned that my faith was not up for debate, that my beliefs were just as valid as everyone else's, and that I deserved to be treated with the same respect and dignity.  As a bonus, I also found out that “Wicca” is on the list of accepted religions to be placed on my dog tag.

          Finally, I was able to practice just as everyone else did.  I had the resources to protect my rights and passed those on to others, so that they wouldn't have to face the same challenges that I did.  Freedom of religion meant me, too.

          Oh, and I fixed my dog tags.  They now say “Wicca”.

Originally posted on FB 25 MAR 2013

The pertinent part of DOMA has been overturned, as has Prop 8.  So yay!

Tomorrow the Supreme Court will begin hearing arguments in two marriage equality cases. I say not "it's about time", but "why the hell is this even an issue?"

Marriage equality is not about special rights, it's about giving ALL American citizens equal rights under the law. Isn't that.. ya know.. kinda important to Americans? Isn't that something that we frequently parade as the key to the United States' greatness?

Why should some people be considered less deserving of these rights than others? We are held accountable to the same laws. We follow the same Constitution. Some of us even signed part of our lives away to defend these rights.

For those who make the declarations of religion, that's fine.

Argument 1: Clergy will be forced to perform marriages that against their religion.

There is nothing in any law that demands that religious institutions absolutely must perform marriages which they do not bless. No one will hold a gun to a priest's head and make him marry two gay men, no one will force a rabbi to marry two lesbians.

Argument 2: It destroys the sanctity of marriage. If your marriage is sacred, nothing another does will marr that. If you consider your marriage to be a holy union, what I do will not destroy your blessed bond before God.

Additionally, I'm pretty sure there are dozens of examples where heterosexual marriage has done more to "destroy the sanctity of marriage" than a long term gay couple deciding to marry (Hi George & Brad Takei - partners of 20+ years). If you've been divorced and still piously cry about the "sanctity of marriage" - SHAME ON YOU. Hypocrite. So it's only sacred when it's convenient and when it starts to get hard, divorce is ok?

Argument 3: The Bible defines marriage.... Stop *right* there. We have this thing in the United States called the 1st Amendment. We can freely practice religion and our government cannot make laws that establish religion or prohibit the free exercise thereof.

We also have separation of Church and state. Therefore - Individual religions should not be able to define or influence laws. Not every religion prohibits same sex marriage. Why should one religion or religious ideal trump every other? What of atheists? This is not a religious state, despite what some people would like or others believe.

Argument 4: Same sex relationships are just disgusting. Who wants to see two men/two women kissing?

Grow the fuck up. Some people don't want to see old men in speedos on the beach, but there's no law against that. I happen to think dog poop is revolting. I'm not advocating we not allow dogs outside.

Get over yourself. You're acting like a 6 year old.

Argument 5: This is all part of the gay agenda to gain converts/make more gay people/exploit our kids. I get it, some of you think that normalising gay marriage would make it more palatable to kids. Like, somehow now because gay people are married.. all of a sudden it'll be SO appealing that kids will be running, in droves, to be gay.

People get married every day. People of different faiths, colours, and ideals get married all the time. Since when has any child looked at - say.. a Jewish wedding... and said OMG I HAVE TO BE JEWISH NOW. Seriously? That's a ridiculous argument.

If you're worried about gay people being normalised - news flash - They are normal people. They don't bleed green or have an extra head. They just love differently than you. I prefer adorable white guys with brown eyes and a great butt. No one taught that to me, it's something I just *feel*.

Argument 6: Marriage should only be between people who are able to have a family. Men and women are meant to be together because they can reproduce.

I guess we should stop letting post menopausal widows & infertile couples to marry, right? Should we make people take fertility tests before they're allowed to marry?

Argument 7: This the way it's been for X years.. Well for several hundred years we had slaves. For years women weren't allowed to vote. For years and years children laboured under unbearable conditions in this country.

For many years interracial marriage was illegal.

Things change. Things SHOULD change.

People should be allowed the rights of inheritance, to share medical insurance... to be allowed to be there in terrible sickness in an ICU that specifies "Family Only" (perhaps to say goodbye to someone they've loved for decades) -- to enjoy all the same protections a heterosexual married couple takes for granted.

If we deny basic rights that *everyone else* has, just because someone happens fall madly in love with and want to marry someone who happens to have the same set of sex organs.. we can't claim to be a free nation with equal rights.

I hope the Supreme Court makes the right decision. I really do.

Can't it just be no big deal..?

In my FaceBook feed someone had posted a meme about Neil Patrick Harris and his partner David Burtka.  (this one, to be specific: http://tyleroakley.tumblr.com/post/40113147887/they-are-ruining-marriage-by-setting-the-bar-way)  And it's sweet, charming, and shows a happy, loving relationship.  I think it's pretty damned awesome.  They're practically the poster children for marriage equality and proof that gay relationships can be healthy, loving, and wholesome (often they're shown with their two children). Good on them for being happy.

However, I can't help but feel bad for them as well.  Now, don't get me wrong I absolutely believe they're happy.  I am not saying there's some hidden horror in their relationship. They're going on their 9th year together which, in Hollywood, is like 5 times the average out there.  So, they've definitely got something there.

But I still feel bad for them.  Can you imagine the pressure they must feel?  Especially now with marriage equality before the Supreme Court.  The entire nation is looking at them.  Supporters of marriage equality love to point to them and say "look, they seem so loving! They're so wholesome!".  I agree, they absolutely do. 

The opponents of gay marriage don't see that.  Some see a happy couple, but don't believe that marriage should extend to them.  Some feel pity just see a couple of confused people who need to find God.  And some assholes see just a couple of fags who are ruining two kids lives.  So they're not changing minds.

However, gods forbid if they ever have any problems ever. I think they have it in them to go the distance, grow old, etc.  What if they don't though?  I mean marriages fail, people grow apart, shit happens.  These two, though, are under a damned microscope.  If their relationship fails it'll be seen as a blow to marriage equality.  Opponents of gay marriage will just point to that and go "See! We knew they couldn't do it! We were right all along".  Supporters would be disappointed in them.

Is that fair?  They're human beings.  I mean, I think they're freaking adorable and have a really sweet family.  I hope my marriage looks like that to other people.  I'm lucky though, people aren't looking to my relationship as an example or proof that my marriage should be allowed to exist.  No one should have to endure that.  If they have a spat in public (or shit, even look irritated) someone is going to snap a picture and someone is going to use that normal, human moment as "proof" that something is wrong with them/their relationship and it's because they're gay! Not because they're human.

Why does this have to be a thing?  Why do we need to parade NPH and David Burtka around as a perfect gay couple with their family?  We let imperfect people get married all the time. 

I get it, it's to show just how normal gay people are. It's to show that they deserve the same rights as the rest of us - by showing how it can be.  But gay people are normal - which means not everything is going to be perfect.  There will be divorce. There will be custody fights.  If marriage is a right afforded to everyone, then everyone will be eligible - not just the perfect people.

We need to leave NPH and David alone and just let them be a normal couple.  Take the pressure off.

We shouldn't have to prove that gay people are worthy of marriage.  It demeans the cause.  Gay people aren't worthy because we can prove that they're capable of being loving.  They're worthy because of the second word in the previous sentence... they're people.

A year doesn't seem like such a long time, especially in the grand scheme of things. It's not even an atom in the comic ocean of life. It's just a mere 365.4 days. What's a year?

However, if you really think about it, so much can happen in a year. Lives begin and end, friendships are made and broken, nations develop, wars begin, wars end, drought, flood, famine, prosperity, depression, marriage, moving, jobs, children.. so much changes in such a short span.

Each day we live, we look at what we're doing and don't really think about it. We make choices, define our paths, define ourselves, without really realizing just what directions we may take. You are not the same person you were a year ago.

Your life is not the same it was a year ago. In each moment of change, even in each moment of the mundane, really look at your life. What you do now will affect you a year from today, perhaps for the rest of your life. Who are you today?

Think about it. Really think and remember.. 10 years ago, was "last year" at one point.

I look over the past year in awe, I never imagined how different my life would be. I look forward to the future with awe, inspiriation, joy, and trepidation.

I wonder who I'll be.. this time next year. I can wait to find out, I'll enjoy now.

Blessed Be & have a wonderful Ostara. May your dreams and hopes come to fruition.