04 October 2007

Sex is a beautiful, wonderful, natural, and obviously, very pleasing thing. However, we still speak about it in whispers or with giggles. There's still much judgement abound in sexuality. We shield it from our children (though we have no problem showing them violence). We tuck it away or make broad generalizations. We're fascinated by it and hear about it all the time, yet we're so puritanical. Sex is oft considered to be locker room talk, or something best left discussed in private.

It's shrouded in myth, mystery, lie, and bias. People are led to feel shamed by their desires and their actions. Then there's double standards. What's good for a woman, is not for a man. What's good for the lover, is not necessarily meant for the spouse. It's acceptable to be "kinky" with 'certain kinds of people', but if "normal" people have a kink, they tuck it away so no one can ever know.

It's so sad that we hide our sensuality and our desires. It's tragic that we feel we have to hold ourselves up and compare ourselves against others. What's too little, too much, too many, too few? How is a relationship defined? Polyamory vice monogamy - one is deemed normal, the other deviant. All are cause for judgement to far too many people.


Why can we not embrace our desirous selves? Why is there even a percieved norm? Are we not all different? Are we not all unique? Do our desires have to fall into cultural norms in order for us to gain approval from our peers?

Tragically, that seems to be the case. We're conditioned to accept a certain standard of behavior (different for men and women, single and attached) in our sex lives. If we do not, we don't discuss it for fear of rejection or ridicule. That's ridiculous.

We're creatures of desire, lust, love, and hope. All can be encompassed in the act of love. All can be experienced very deeply in that most intimate act. The form it takes shouldn't matter. One shouldn't be judged on what they do in the privacy of their homes, even if it breaks the societal mores (illegal activity aside, or that which hinders another).

I embrace my sexuality. I will make no apologies for who I am, what I've done, or what I wish to do. I will not feel shame for any of it. It's part of me and I cherish it. I am free and unfettered.

Will I be judged for feeling this way? Likely. Do I care? I would be lying if I said no. I do care, but it's moreso a sadness than discontent at being mocked. It's sadness because people judge based on what they've had drilled into their heads about what's "normal". How do you even define normal or moral? Doesn't that change based on the moment or the context or even the person?

It's truly tragic that we've taken something so beautiful, pure, and intimate and turned it into something we hide, laugh about, judge, or shy away from.

Throw off your chains and live! Embrace your sensual self. Accept that there is no mold. It's your life, your feeling, and your joy. If you're consenting adults and you both wish for something to happen, don't let anyone else hinder your pleasure. The only bindings are the ones you place on yourself. No one else.

If they judge you, remember.. it's their loss. They are the ones shackled by their own morality. They are the ones who see the body as something to hide or sex as something to mock, judge, or shun. They see it as dirty...

I see it as a "growing closer".

And really.. why is that a bad thing? No matter what form it takes.


Blogger Sean said...

Erm, perhaps it's because our nation was founded by religious fundamentalists?

In your travels, have you found that other societies hav a healthier attitude? I ask as an anthropologist.

12:57 AM  

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